Lumière du monde

Which way...

2012-02-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

Lost, not in mind
But in heart...

Breathe...whenever you can

2012-02-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes
It gets so calm and quiet
Yet it is cold and dark

Sometimes
It gets bright and shining
Yet it is scorching and confusing

Vague
Both in sight and in mind

Adrift from where you should be
Dying to find your way back...

The Battle

2012-01-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

He thought he was acting weird
For the heart was not joy when he saw it
Not excitement
But it was trembling
A battle to make his choice

He thought it was just a feeling
As always, only longer
How he wanted to run up
and say how he feels
But the fear of departure was still in his heart
Reminding him the suffering he had went through

Like a forlorn sloop
Floating in the middle of night
Lost, but with only a pitiful light of the moon

Haven't we all changed?

2012-01-21T01:51:00.008+08:00

Have we not witness

Colors of leaves changed with the air?

Have we not felt

Warmness of wind gone with time?

One could never return to before

One could only change to after

See no enemies

When they become your friends

See no friends

When they become your lover

See no lover

When they become a stranger

************************

I have finally gotten my license! Hooyah~~~~

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!!

无乐不做！不停地冲！

2012-01-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

The year has basically kicked off

and boy, this is another fun-filled, action-packed, pressure-crammed busy year...

Growing up

This is definitely happening to me

A painful process I would put it

But an unforgettable experience I would believe

Life has never been this fully scheduled

Not busy

but fully planned

from now till the very end of the year

But hey,

it's the last year I get to go through this kind of life

The only thing I should remember

is that I should never rely on myself

Rely on Him

and Him only

Fight till the very end!

La Pioggia

2012-01-07T21:26:00.001+08:00

It means the rain

After many times of listening to this song

I still can't find rain drops inside

I thought the composer had just simply wrote this beautiful song

But after a second thought

This was really a beautifully written song

He did not write rain drops

Nor the cold wind or dark clouds

It was rain he wrote

But it was inside of a person

Music

From deep within us

Will reach deep into others

Write not notes, but expressions

Play not instruments, but feelings

Enjoy this piece of brilliant music...

Split roads...?

2012-01-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

Broga Hill
26 ~ 29 December 2011

"Come Back Home"

Youth Camp

We woke up at 4.30am in the morning to climb to this peak.

Though we didn't witness the sunrise,

we had a lot of perfect times together.

Here are the actors of the opening drama for the camp.

Thank you Steven and Joshua for putting up such a special drama.

Not only does the audience gets the message,

I believe we, the actors, learn more throughout the preparation...

I know I did...

Finally

We have come to the point where our lives will go in different ways

I know God has different plans in our lives

I'm truly glad and thankful that God has given me these 2 brothers in my life

They are not passer by's in my life

They walked side by side together with me

A Thousand Years

2011-12-15T01:12:00.000+08:00

Dashing across the dark sky

Just like an artist painting with heaven lights

If I could have a wish

I wish only to know your wish

When that perfect star flew pass us

December

2011-12-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

Could it be

that this has became my habit?

I couldn't resist

to not know

and even though knowing more makes it even harder

I've still looked back

I once pictured us

taking steps under the shimmering stars

Nothing to be said

for the clusters of heaven lights

had us both starring it in each other's eyes

**********

Busy schedule ahead.

At last, this adventurous year has come to it's end...

Baby face in a grown up's suit

2011-11-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

Angelic voice... with a angelic face...

Harmonized orchestra... with a powerful choir...

Cute song... with an adorable singer...

I was just thinking

2011-11-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

Some footprints

Might be washed away by the waves

But some

Became part of the beach forever

She, who I love...

2011-11-22T22:32:00.003+08:00

Her hands were once soft and smooth

It changed because of me...

Her schedule was once free and relaxing

It changed because of me...

Though I was a trouble

My brother and sis' made it a double...

Her face, still young and pretty

Her heart, still kind and loving...

A blessed birthday

I wish to you

The greatest angel the Lord has sent me...

Happy Birthday

Mother~

Dream. Day or Night?

2011-11-22T21:26:00.006+08:00

I couldn't help it

My hand just went out...

Crazy as it seems

I still hope that she would take it...

A bright smile

Still fighting to keep itself up...

Shining eyes

Finding it's way into her heart...

She took it

Placing it softly into mine...

Shaking, it was

But strangely mine wasn't...

I lead her away

As gentle as I could with her hand...

Into the world

Everything was not as before...

A once dark night

Now filled with colours of our feelings...

A once lonely night

Now vanished as our hearts gleamed together...

Lying next to you

We watched the stars sailing in the night...

The wind was surfing

The waves were kissing the same beach we are on...

I couldn't help it

My hand just went out...

Crazy as it seems

I still hope that she would take it...

**********

Don't worry, this is not me trying to express my feelings... I was just trying to find some ideas for a short film, so I came up here to write some stuffs and hoped that I could squeeze anything out. But well, obviously I didn't really got a story.

Anyway, SPM is already on it's way, killing quite a lot of people too. However, I don't really care about it, so I guess I'm officially in the holidays already. The least I hope is to get a credit for every subject. I think that's still possible, right?

Well, this is another same "packed with adventures" holiday. SPM hit number on the list, while Band Camp and a Teen Gospel Camp only arrives in December. Oh yeah, there's a Composing Competition coming up... and I still haven't got the whole song completed.

There's this Class trip coming up too, right at the last day of SPM, which is 7th of December. We're going to Pulau Penang to spend 3 days 2 nights together for the last time. This is also the reason why I was trying to write for a short film. I think the beach side and mountain views over there won't be bad. Plus, it might be the last thing we ever do together. Class changes next year and we are all going to be separated. Sad, but true...

Can't believe how fast we came to this point....

Before it's too late

2011-11-20T00:36:00.004+08:00

No matter how blazing the sun is

I'm still here

Those days...

2011-11-14T23:21:00.002+08:00

Time...

Separates you from the past...

Locks you up in the present...

And never letting you touch the future...

Time...

Stacks your age up...

Pull opportunities away from you...

Creating memories for you to keep...

Time...

You either live with it...

or you'll just fade away...

You caught my eye...

2011-10-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

Girl you just caught my eye...

Thought I should give it a try

and get your name and your number...

Go grab some lunch and eat some cucumbers...

WHY, did I say that?

I don't know why.

But you're smilin' and it's something I like

on your face, yeah it suits you

Girl, we connect like we have bluetooth

I don't know why.

I'm drawn to you

Could you be the other one so we'd equal two?

and this is all based on a lucky chance

that you would rather add then subtract...

Hey

How have you been?

I know that it's been awhile...

Are you tired cause you've been on my mind

running thousand and thousands of miles...?

Sorry, I know that line's outta style

But you...

You look so beautiful on this starry night...

Loving the way moonlight catches your eyes and smile...

I'm captivated

Your beauty is timeless never outdated...

You and I

Could be like

Sonny and Cher

Honey and bears...

You and I

Could be like Aladdin and Jasmine

Let's make it happen...

Cute song.... "By Chance" by JRA... =)

Something to believe...

2011-09-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

Though it still hurts sometimes,

whenever I trampled into the images still trapped inside...

I succeeded...

To learn how to overcome things...

Things... like this...

I finally understood what you really did...

Thank you...

La vie...

2011-08-18T00:04:00.004+08:00

New season, New team, New position...

No, I'm not talking about EPL...

A few updates on me life since me birthday~
*Got my first surprise party in my life

*We got into the "Song Fest" finals

*There's a National Chinese Song Composing Competition coming up

*Assigned to be president of school band for 1 year

*Trial sucks...

La vie, always full of surprise don't they?

I'm still awfully uncommitted, lazing about, out of my mind, crazy, insane, goon, goofing around, day dreaming...........anything you can think about...

Well, I have came to a conclusion that whenever I was situated at stressful times, I tend to avoid it and putting myself at a devastated state... Which is happening now... /.\

Hell...SPM is only less than 80 days away...

Roads and Life...

2011-08-10T00:49:00.003+08:00

Funny how sometimes the roads you hope to be a highway turns into a simple crossroad in your life...

And when you want to make your U-turn back to the point...

You realized the dividers stopping you from going back...

Funny how sometimes you concentrated too much on the scenery around you on the road of your life...

And when the scenery finally changed and you decided to put your eyes back on the road...

You're already off the road and headed for a tree...

It is impossible to go back to moments you've already been through...

Use and cherish every moment you got...

It is unwise to do the wrong thing at the wrong time...

For you might drift away from what you're suppose to do...

Worse, you might injure yourself...bad....

17th

2011-08-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

I've walked on this beautiful planet for 17 years now...

Wishing another friend a blessed birthday too~

So great to have a friend whose birthday is exactly the same as yours...

Happy Birthday Hoyan Hooi...

and me of course~

By My Side...

2011-08-01T01:45:00.001+08:00

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking,
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take,
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

All the fears you feel inside,
and all the tears you cry,
they're ending right here.
I'll heal your heart and soul;
I'll keep you oh so close.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

No one else will ever do.
I got a stubborn heart for you.
Call me crazy, but its true; I love you.
I didn't think that it would be,
you have made it clear to me.
You're all I need.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

By David Choi.

Passing by...

2011-07-27T22:33:00.000+08:00

In life, there are bound to be different people you'll meet...

People who is only known by a name...

People who you only say Hi to...

People who you would go out with...

People who you would hang out with everyday...

People who you would share your experiences with...

People who you would open your heart to...

Some might walk with you throughout your whole life...

but there are people who would only pass through your life...

Cherish the time you spend with everyone around you as you do not know they might just be passing by your life...

False sign of hope?

2011-07-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

Yea, I still can't get over it...

This is my own challenge, and I should conquer it...

Updates to come, soon......

Across the sea...

2011-07-04T22:40:00.002+08:00

Just a brief update on what's going on lately...

Well... It has been a tiresome half year for me, and I'm sure it would surely be quite the same for the next half...but...It's all worth it =)

2 more days (which means Wednesday), and I'll be standing on the stage of Sri-KL, facing great speakers from great schools from different parts of M'sia. First time in my life, I could have this honour to represent my school for an Inter-School Elocution Competition... Thank God for all these experiences~

I'll do my best!

The heart breaks for it does not have faith

in Him who thrones above all...

The heart sings for it has peace

from Him who governs over all...

It has been almost a year....

2011-06-20T20:18:00.004+08:00

I don't understand why...

Why, till today, I still can't let go?

Sometimes, I just want to go up...

Sometimes, I really hope...

Just came back from Hong Kong...

The adventure there was just stunning...

Not in the mood to share everything right now... 'Cause there're really a lot of things...

Maybe next time =D

Fly away with me...

2011-06-06T23:44:00.002+08:00

Rain falls...

Heart drops...

Knees down...

Face flat...

I know where to go, my legs take me not...

I will stand back up, so worry me not...

I'll find you in the morning sun,

and when the night is new.

I'll be looking at the moon,

but I'll be seeing you...

Come fly with me...

I know...We can...

2011-05-23T01:20:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I've come to this day...

Honestly, it seemed like the first baby steps I took in my band was like yesterday. Now, my last concert with this band is reaching, and I'm left with 1 and a half more years to share my life with them... I believe what I feel now is pretty much the same as many other seniors who went through the same situation.

Give the best present I can give, which is my time and effort...

Do the best I can, to leave with the best memories...

With not more than 2 months of time, a full list of songs yet completed... But I do not care if we played too bad... I just want to give in all... I just want to be with you all... I just want to see everyone grow together...

The only wish I have, is to see a real band before I leave...

My band, My life; One band, One sound.... Make miracles HHSB~

Be Happy...

2011-05-17T02:11:00.002+08:00

How fast does time flies?

You feel it most when you see how far you've walked from where you started...

I still remember how late I stayed awake...

Just to give you a call...

I still remember how far I walked...

Just to see you smile back at me...

I hate to say that I can only remember these things now...

and not to experience it...

But maybe separate roads are best for us...

Yet I hope it doesn't go in different directions...

All in all...

The least I could do...

Is to wish that all we have shared together,

can be kept in a safe place...

and that joy flows from the deepest of your heart...

Be happy~

Under the Starless Night

2011-05-15T23:53:00.002+08:00

The night sky was filled with dark and cold colors...

No stars twinkling, one moon blurry...

My heart feels the same...

For you alone still stays there in the mist...

The clouds so thick, no other light came through...

We'd be sitting together under that starless night...

But now, it is only me with the blurry moon...

Remember...

2011-05-12T03:55:00.000+08:00

思念如燕它飞舞舌尖

若是真爱配尝几分苦甜

意念婆娑时间里推磨

追随到何处才结果

燕如针线在青空缝编

几幅女红将以泪缀点

誓言斑驳情雾只是经过

风雨中且让我盈步婀娜

Crap~

2011-05-10T13:24:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!! SO PEK CEK THESE DAYS~ =.=!!

Crossroads...

2011-05-08T00:03:00.002+08:00

It feels weird...

When the feeling you know you shouldn't be having...

Appears to be inside you...

When a crossroad emerged...

You can either choose to go left...or to the right...

I chose to turn around and find another way...

End of the day...

2011-05-06T00:09:00.001+08:00

I found out it still hurts...

Ride with me...

2011-05-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

I think everytime after a series of event...

The time when you get the chance to finally sit down and stare...

There's a mixture of a sweet and sour feeling deep down inside...

When you're thinking about the things that you've just been busying about...

Either with someone or not...

You'll smile without noticing it yourself...

Because of the laughters you shared with someone...

Or..

Because of the tears you shed in times of stress...

You'll feel silly for being that silly back then...

and you'll find ways to keep those memories fresh...

so that you can replay it in your mind over and over and over.................

But the fact is...

Your journey of life does consist of many departs with people

Of course there are times when you get to know new friends and be exposed to new things...

But when you're getting older and older...

You'll want to cling on to what you think it's the best...

I'm not old enough to say that, this I'm clear...

I still ache for new adventures, learn new things, meet new friends.........

The point is....leaving what you have is get more and more difficult...

Looking back...is not always sweet...

I'm a bit nostalgic....

but I know I'm not afraid of the future...

'cause there's a God watching over me...

and I believe that with all my heart...

Ride with me~

Path of Grace...

2011-04-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

A finale with God's wonder fulfilling it...

All we can do is awe in His forever amazing grace...

All we can do is thank Him...

Praise Him...

Worthy is the Lamb!

Nothing...

2011-04-21T23:16:00.001+08:00

Do me a favour...

DAM'IT STOP YOUR IGNORANT BEHAVIORS AND GROW UP!!!

Memoire

2011-04-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

The past defines your life...

The present defines your action...

But...

It is you who defines the future...

With God enthroned in you...

Be gone...

2011-04-17T23:29:00.001+08:00

Tired like hell...

It's a marathon...

And it won't end for another 7 months...

A Smile...

2011-04-14T23:10:00.003+08:00

The curve on your face,

set my nerves on craze...

The sound of your voice,

Silent, all the noise...

Finding, through a maze...

Searching, in a haze...

Hold on to my choice...

Keeping all the joys...

Purposes

2011-04-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes...

You just feel like giving up...

Like everything doesn't matter...

You don't have to worry...

You don't have to care...

Free from heavy weight on your shoulders...

Gone from unsettling dreams every night...

Nothing to be responsible to...

Nothing to decide for...

Plenty of room to day-dream...

Plenty of time to rest...

Sometimes...

You just feel like that...

You just feel...

x.x

2011-04-11T23:32:00.002+08:00

First, a BIG sorry to my dear readers for the late update... There were really a lot of things going on recently. I'm practically worn out, stressed out, tired, dizzy, anything you can think of...

I can't believe I started to organize my schedule few months earlier. It's gonna be a busy time for me from April till July. Every last day in the holidays scheduled with things that varies from Church to Band and even to Hong Kong. Tough ride, but I know I can make it through with Him giving me strength!

With you...

2011-03-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

At last I see the light...

And it's like the fog has lifted...

Everything is different...

2011-03-21T22:41:00.002+08:00

All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind, I've been
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be...

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once
Everything is different
Now that I see you...

Lyrics from Tangled, I see the Light...

The Question I wanna ask...

2011-03-20T20:23:00.002+08:00

How are you lately?
Everything just keeps reminding me of you...

Lost...

2011-03-19T22:32:00.003+08:00

The sky seems to be in the same mood as his. All dull and grey. He just sat there facing towards the clouds as if they will tell him what to do. The clouds didn't give any answer, but instead, it started to rain. The drops of rain made his heart even colder, the faded sky slowly darkened his sight. There was nothing but the sound of rain beating down and his heart replying the rain...

He was tired. Tired of the changing weather in his life. He was exhausted. Exhausted from the journey to the peak. He was weary. Weary for the scars from the past. His last drop of energy to fight off this feeling was drained by this gloomy shower. His eyes closed, his heart sank, his body collapsed.... The drips of rain was replaced by pure silence. Not even his breathing could be heard.

He was terrified of this silence. Even the worn-out heart started to pump faster. He climbed back up on his feet and shouted at the top of his lungs. But no ears hear him, no eyes see him. So he sat down and waited. Waited for the sound that will break the silence....

It came eventually, though it was short and swift. But it doesn't matter. It broke all silence around him. He jumped up as fast as he could and reached for the sound, hoping that he could grasp it in his hands. But he couldn't. The sound was gone, but so was the silence.

The roar of the last thunder woke him up. The rain turned into a giant storm. He looked out to the dark sky but not with the same feeling as before. He knew there and then that he could ride through the storm, and the after it is the heart-warming sun taking over the land again.

The sound was gone, but so was the silence... The thrill had ended, but so was the fear....
He knew the time had come for him to move on... towards the end of the storm....

HK~

2011-03-19T21:42:00.004+08:00

I remember few months back when it's still back at the year-end holidays... I spent a few nights facing the laptop and forced myself through the whole night to work out the proposal... Never in a million did I think that time, that OUR proposal would be accepted...

Yes...

We're accepted by the POLYU Global Business and Entrepreneurship Challenge...

And that means we are flying to Hong Kong...

Which, of course, leads to more sleepless nights...

HONG KONG! HERE WE COME~!!! =D

Heartbeat...

2011-03-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

Listening to your heartbeat...
It's the easiest way to know how your life is going...
Slow or fast...
Just keep it going...

10.10

2011-03-18T12:40:00.002+08:00

A little curve appeared on his face, as the memories flowed through his mind. The time seems to stop on every clock that he sees. Always the same time...

How he wish to continue this magical journey with his mates. With the dwarfs, with the fairies...With the centaurs and the goatees... Yelling out the Holy Turtle's disciples... Running wild with the music... Read and write the letters... Facing his deepest fears... Working together to fight against the Witch... Saving Azlan... Imagining... Feeling... Fulfilling....

He missed all the cheers and all the tears... The last lunch they had and the last game they played... but he knew that the time ticked on as he left... and he knew he had to move on to another place....

The curve began to slip away... Though his heart still warm... Because he knows that this magical Kingdom will need their aid once again... and they will reunite once again with new stories to share....

He kept this memory in the safest place to make sure he remembers how to get back to the magical land... to find his mates... to find Narnia...

Hang on...

2011-03-06T22:08:00.002+08:00

Why am I even wasting my time typing this thing out?
==

Voice of Truth

2011-03-04T21:11:00.003+08:00

Oh, what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried they keep on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You will never win".

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
the Voice of Truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of Truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth...

Glory to God...

2011-03-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

He made it...

=)

Limits...

2011-02-28T22:39:00.001+08:00

Here I am...
Sent me...

Confidence?

2011-02-22T21:07:00.003+08:00

A last few looks in the mirror, and he's off on his way to explore a new day. Still recovering from his dreamy state, he told himself to put a positive attitude to face the world. He talked to himself, saying that he will not let himself fail. He lifted up his head, embraced himself and head on with no fear....

His journey started off well. He tried his best to make himself look confident and fearless. Every obstacle that he encountered, he fought on with courage, the courage from he himself. Wave by wave, he ride through the storm. Gradually, his confidence rose and together the arrogance inside of him. Having so proud of himself, he thought he is good enough for the world.

It was all until failures came in.

He wasn't good enough. In fact, after a few more catastrophe, he felt that he wasn't anywhere near good. All his glory washed away by time. All his possession turns to dust. He thought he can have it all. He thought he was on the high road. Turns out all those achievements meant nothing. Nothing, was really attained by him.

He retraced his steps back to where he started and found the mirror he once looked into. The mirror changed. The one standing inside wasn't the one before.

He changed.

Not the flesh, not the age. But the new scars and bruises he got after his adventurous voyage. He saw himself crying, but no tears were dropping. He was desperate to find the answers to his misery, but the mirror only tells him what his misery are....

He asked his friends, they could only tell him the reality. He cried to his dearest, they could only wipe off the tear that doesn't seem to be ending. He was despairing.

Until he remembered....

He forgotten the one who blessed him with life. The one who created heaven and earth, who decorated the sky with stars, whose wisdom limitless and infinity.

He found what he was looking for....

He had nothing from the very beginning. He was given and took away. He learnt his lesson. The big picture now revealed to him.

*** *** ***

He looked at the mirror before he head out to face a new day. Now awake from his dreamy state, he begin a new expedition without fear. He stood back up, his courage arose. His head not lifted up, his confidence not rising at all. He changed from independent to dependant.

Confidence?

He made himself fall because of his own confidence....

He doesn't need anymore of that for he had found what he really need.

Faith in the Lord.

Most of us are taught to have confidence in yourself, believe in yourself or trust your instincts....We are wrong because what we have in ourselves are nothing compared to the one who gave us everything. His bountiful blessings and grace poured on us and yet we tend to say everything we have is fought by our own blood and tears. Confidence? I say we turn to the truth. I say we have faith....

Fear

2011-02-21T22:34:00.002+08:00

Just two words...
After such a period of time...
The first 2 words...
Said with a curve on the face...

The shock of joy ran quickly through me...
and out of me....

Thank you......

Show me...

2011-02-20T19:16:00.003+08:00

As the path goes on...
Where shall my feet be set...
As the waves roll on...
Where shall my heart be set...

Show me....

Made it in to the finals...
Glad that I'm not alone in every battle...
Glory to God in the highest...
He who gave me everything...shall be my everything...

Miss...

2011-02-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

I really wanted to ask...
but every scar of me said no...
Without You there along the way...
None of me seems to be right...

Elocution this year...
Was real hard for me...
First,
I wasn't selected by the teacher to enter this year's competition...
This gave me a great drop on my confidence scale...
I asked her to let me join before the selection round...even though I've successfully made it through that round...My heart couldn't get off the feeling of the lack of confidence...I know I should put my faith to God...Do my best and He'll do the rest...
I'm a weak person...I'm like Peter...I'm not wise at all...

But God is forever in command...and He prepared the best for us...
After the selection round, I spend time in search for the reason why I wasn't chose for the competition this year...Weakness, is a common thing we all have...and if it wasn't for this incident...I wouldn't have had the determination to realise that I have so much more to improvise...

Today's pre-lim...I can only say I tried my best...
No matter what result I get...
All the glory be to God~

I miss the times when you teach me how...

2:8

2011-02-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

Wake up...
Stop loaming in your dream...
and get real...

2:22

2011-02-04T22:27:00.003+08:00

Tears...
No matter how hard we try...
It does exist...
This is because we were meant to have it...

It tells us that we have reach our limit...
of accepting what we can carry...
We let what we can't take to flow away with it...
Regrets...
Sorrows...
Disappointments...

It tells us that we have attained our constraint...
of receiving what we can manage...
No matter how hard you try...
You can't keep these tears from dropping...
With it, it carries...
Joy...
Pleasure...
Excitement...
Realization...

Tears...
Doesn't mean a surrender to your weakness...
But an expression of your threshold...
We were meant to have it...

Realize, did I...
That the bitter teardrop...
Will turn to a sweet scent in the end...

Dreams

2011-02-03T01:19:00.002+08:00

You came...
and you smiled...
Your face so bright...

We talked...
and we laughed...
Our time flew fast...

Such expression you had...
Such feeling that I've once felt before...
You came...
and you're gone...
Left me with none...

I rub my eyes...
and I closed it back...
Hoping to see you smile again...

Only Exception

2011-02-02T00:48:00.002+08:00

Well, maybe I know somewhere...
Deep in my soul...
That love never last...
And we've gotta find other ways...
To make it alone...
Or keep a straight face...

And I always lived like this...
Keeping a comfortable distance...
And up until now, I had sworn to myself...
That I'm content with loneliness...
Because none of it was ever worth the risk...

But you are the only exception...

Question?

2011-01-26T22:55:00.001+08:00

Only one,
Asked you twice...
It's the matter of why...

Drowned in my...

2011-01-25T21:59:00.002+08:00

Sick...
From the seen...
to the unseen...

Persist...

2011-01-18T23:43:00.002+08:00

Dropped to my knees...
My heart sank...
Almost a circle of the 4 seasons,
did we stumbled upon each other on this journey of life...
Little did we know...
That we couldn't even walk through the falling leaves together...

Til now...
No one else walked with me through the changing weather...
The cold winds kissed my cheeks...
As I watch your steps slowly parting away from mine...
The rain danced on my head...
As I recall the last memories...

None is to be repeated...
None is to be saved...

Insist...

2011-01-12T23:20:00.001+08:00

Walk on...
Need not fast...
Just don't stop...

Resist

2011-01-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

This be the toughest year...yet~
I won't say I'm busy...
Instead thinking my life ain't boring!

CHIONG AH!!!

I can't...

2011-01-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

Weak, is the heart...
That makes the body crumble...

Calm...

2011-01-08T23:05:00.002+08:00

Time...
Was all I needed...
To rest an uneasy heart...

Time...
Was all I needed...
To get back to the start...

But...
Time...
Is all I lack...
to get away from this crap...

They came chasing after me...
Torture, pushing, stressing me...
While I'm 'wake and in my dreams...
They came with scary and horrid things...

In a terrible mood...

Hi...

2011-01-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

Not a word, not a gesture...
Not a smile, not a pleasure...
We shall wait and we shall see...
Is is you or is it me?

Wondered today...
If we met for the first time today...
What would it be?

2011

2011-01-01T02:17:00.002+08:00

Last year,
I pray to God to let me see His wonders...
I pray to God to let me know Him more...
I pray to God to let me grow in His words...
I pray to God to let me be more like Him...

4 simple lines...
Was answered in an amazing way that I can't even describe it with words...
Even typing these out makes me want to cry...
Because God really is there...
And He listened and listens...
He have gave me big lessons LAST year~
I pray to God that He would continue to strengthen my faith...
I pray to God that He would not forsake me...
Be with me all through the day...
All through the night...

2011...
Here I come!

Reject~

2010-12-29T00:37:00.003+08:00

No...
This is not happening again...
I do not want this...
Please don't...
I have been tortured by those nights back then...
I don't want it again...

A contradicting feeling...
Two sides of my heart pulling apart...
I really don't want to go through this torture again...

Never alone...

2010-12-27T22:57:00.003+08:00

At the brink of the end,

Marks a start of a new year...

Wishes, didn't come true...

Dreams, left with no clue...

Regrets, sure to be there...

Sadness, not to be shared...

Disappointments, we all have...

Covered with bruises, all was bashed...

But need not afraid for the time has come...

To put down the past and say "Hi" to dawn...

New targets and new expectations...

New year filled with new sensations...

Hope to seek and find what's right...

Now is the time to stand out bright...

I guess you're right...

2010-12-27T02:25:00.002+08:00

There are times...
The times when we'd finally call it a day...
and you get to lie down...
and you get to think...
This is the time...
I guess...

What have I been doing?
I can say out loud that my holidays are far from boring... Instead, I missed the boring days sitting in front of my laptop...
I've been running around...
I've been killing myself...
All for the sake of what?

At this time last year...I didn't get the chance of writing down what I think about my life, because I was at the Youth camp...I have made a prayer at this moment last year...I asked Lord..."What am I to You? What can I give You?" I've already knew the answer...What can I give when everything I have was given by Him? He gave me life...and a purpose with it...So, I continued..."Lord, show me Your wonders...Use me in according to Your will...Strengthen me in every way so that I may be Your disciple...You know what's best for me...and I pray that You'd take hold of my life for I'm willing to let You rule my life...Valley or mountain, I pray that You'd always be with me..."

He is a God always listening...
He listened to my prayer...
and answered it...

2010...
A year too hard to forget...
Actually I can't find any words to describe how this year had been...I can only say that I'm glad that my prayer was answered...A tough year indeed...but with the Lord with me...I fear nothing...

Everytime of this year...

2010-12-18T01:49:00.002+08:00

Starting to get emo real bad~
I really will miss you guys...
I will enjoy this last performance with you all...
I will try to remember every last note we play together...
I will keep these memories tight and secure...
Who knows when we'll have the chance again...

I was right to be stupid that time...
It was the smartest dumb move...

She says...

2010-12-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

Tidying my room is one of the hardest thing to do...
'Cause the old memories will be recovered among the chaos...
Then comes the painful part...
When you have to decide whether to keep or throw away...

Cherish, I have...
but the gone can't be retrieve...
and so I've threw away what's left...

Till now, I still can't bear the pain when I'm reminded...
Thought you should be fading away...
But it was only me dozing off...
And there you are when I open my eyes...

Letting go is twice as hard as picking up...
Half way there I guess...

O Night Divine

2010-12-14T23:25:00.002+08:00

The end is only a begining of another better end...

With Hope

2010-12-11T00:25:00.002+08:00

I thought I couldn't make it through...
Not after looking back and realized how far we are apart...

Hope you see that as well...

Reaction

2010-12-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

The closest stranger...
We have grown to know each other so deep...
Only to find it hard to even say hello to each other...

The Whole Picture

2010-12-07T22:47:00.002+08:00

Some choose to close their doors...
Seperating themselves from the outside world...
Burying themselves in their own dream world...

Some choose to open their hearts...
Acting foolish acts to random people...
Wasting precious time on useless matters...

Do it if you want...
Do it if you like...
Just be prepared...
To say goodbye...

Farewell dear future~

Stuck in my mind...

2010-11-30T01:09:00.003+08:00

Know why my mind is so jammed...
Sometimes, I wanna lie to myself...
That you have your reasons to do this to me...
Sometimes, I just give up...
And put myself in a devastated situation...
If only I could ask you...
If only you would answer...
Maybe it wouldn't be such an headache now...

But you chose not to let me know...
I couldn't understand...maybe I'm meant to understand you...
Sometimes, I will dream back those times...
When I purposely stayed back...
Every last moment...stayed crystal clear in my memories...
For I tried to remember them whenever wherever I could...
Terrified, that it might leave me someday...

How long have it been since that day...
You never said a goodbye...
A few times, I tried to approach...
A few times, my courage falls...
Now I'm too afraid to try anything...
Fear for disappointment filled my mind...

I still wanna thank you...
For showing me how real this world is...
For teaching me how to smile and cry at the same time...
I've wondered...
Am I just a tiny bit in your beautiful life?
Throwing me away is O' so easy...
Just to let you know...
Throwing you away is impossible...

I've forgotten to tell you back then...
It's rude not to say goodbye when you're leaving someone...
A "hello" must end with a "goodbye"...
Well...
I know it's hard for me to say...
Hope it's the same for you...
Even if we are to say it...
I want to say it together with my blessings...
Hoping you will remember to pray daily...
Hoping you will remember to eat regularly...
Hoping you will remember to sleep early...
Hoping you will remember to smile gladly...
...
Hoping you will remember...

This PolyU Project is driving me crazy~

Scared~?

2010-11-20T23:37:00.002+08:00

The answer's yes...
After what you've gave me...I don't know how to face myself again...
You've hurt me not in one single way...
But continuous blow kept on coming...

This is not at all...
How we thought it was supposed to be...
And nothing we can say...nothing we can do...
Can take away the pain...the pain of losing you...
But...
We can cry with hope...
We can grieve with hope...
Cause we know our goodbye is not the end...

Never have I know...
Anything so hard to understand...
And never have I questioned more...
The wisdom of God's plan...

Imagine...

2010-11-20T00:33:00.002+08:00

I can only imagine,
what it will be like...when I walk by your side...
I can only imagine,
what my eyes will see...when your face is before me...
I can only imagine...

Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe will I be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah? Will I I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine...

Little or big things...Light or heavy...
They have touched my heart and paved a different path for me...
Every moment, I was reminded that I should be grateful...
'Cause I believe...only by this Grace could I be typing out this article...

Sometimes deep at night...
Your image came across my mind...
and in my dreams...you're like a distanced light that I couldn't reach...
Even how tired and exhausted I am...I tried to get to you...
I kept my eyes on you...
So afraid that your face will be a lost memory...
Now...
I can only imagine...
Will I stand still in awe...
The moment I reached you...

It's not always fair...

2010-11-14T23:34:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't be sitting here actually...but I know I can't sleep if I don't do this...
Well...things just ain't going the way it should be...or maybe the way I THINK it should be...
Once again I asked myself...Should I torture myself with all of these? I could just close my eyes and act like nothing ever happened...I am worned down and torned to pieces...I keep on telling myself I am heading for the ground and my world getting darker...The music fades out...The hopes burn out...Yes, I'm not feeling right, not feeling fine, not feeling what I want to......

I know I shouldn't...but human are weak...and wicked...
I just feel unfair and unjust watching the lives around me shining brighter and brighter...
and yet I'm dimming...
No, it's not fair at all...
In my own scale, these aren't fair...these aren't appropriate...

I know who to look for..,
and I should do that now...

Thread of Memory...

2010-11-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

Days...came nearer...I still remember you know? When we cherrish the days not seperated...
I know...There's no way turning back...and no point as well...
What can I do? After this few hours...we might as well become real strangers...
But day after day...You remain hovering in my mind...
Hanging by a thread...
Clutching on to the memories...
Day after day...I asked myself...the same questions...
My hands are still holding the line too small to see...The thing left that connects us...

Go...as you want...
This line that's connecting us...will always be here...
Keeping it in my heart...the safest place I could find...

Clair de Lune

2010-11-05T23:41:00.002+08:00

It didn't left me at all...Yes...It hurts real bad...
Listening to all the words about it...
Finding answers to reply the questions about it...
This is really killing...honestly...

Why?
Am I really injured that bad?
I hate this feeling...and putting salt on it ain't helping anything...
I may put on a smile...
But inside...
I'm crying for help...
I'm dying for someone to save me...
I'm shouting...
I really really don't know...til now...not one word...not one answer...
What really happened was all too quick for me...
And it's building up itself inside of me...
One day...it will surely burst out...like the magma pushing it's way up the crust...
I hope the day it explodes...no one will be around me and witness it...

Even my writing was affected by it...
My mind couldn't organize properly whenever it hits me...
My sight couldn't be put straight whenever I'm reminded...
O I really cried to my Lord...I'm really a weak and wicked servant Yes I'm...
What knowledge and talents given by You...I have not double it...
I did not do what I'm suppose to instead I fell into the pits of the world...
Drawn into it and stuck inside it...
I've failed...over and over...

Ache...in my heart...and my body...
Tired...in my soul...and my mind...
Why...have I been worn down and torn to pieces...
Like shattered pieces of a mirror smashed on the floor...
Bits and bits lost...A hard puzzle to put it all back together...
With my hands...I couldn't repair it completely...
Pieces destroyed into dust...blown away by reality...
I couldn't get a mirror just as before...

But it be my hand that can't do things like this...

I forgotten that I have a Father above all wisdom and knowledge...
I pushed aside the Father that watches and cares for me above everything...
The Father that loves me...The Father that forgives me...
I just have to come back to Him...and beg for His mercy and forgiveness...

I want to kneel down...Lay all of myself down to Him...
I really failed...I'm really weak...
O what words can I say...No words can express the feeling I have...
I want to say my sorries so eagerly...
Neither shout nor scream can express...
Neither cry nor yell can relieve me...
Whole-heartily...I give myself up to You...
You lead my way...now and always...
I know I will somehow grab away the decision making authority...
Because I forgotten that I couldn't do that...
When I think I'm free to do what I want...
I forgotten that I'm just a free bird in a large cage...
I need You...more than anything...
But I keep letting You down when I turned away and give my love to other things that I shouldn't...
Forgive me...
Relieve me...
Receive me...

Why can't I....

2010-10-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

What day is it...and in what month...
This clock never seem so alive...
I can't keep up...and I can't back down...
I've been losing so much time...

All of the things...that I want to say...
Just aren't coming out right...
I'm tripping inwards...you got my head spinning...
I don't know where to go from here...

Cause it's you and me and all of the people...
With nothing to do...nothing to lose...nothing to prove...
And it's you and me and all of the people...
and I don't know why...I can't keep my eyes off of you...

(lyrics from lifehouse--you and me)

They kinda expressed what I feel...
No...it should be "felt"...
Nothing to do and nothing to lose...
That's why there's so much time gone away...slipped right through my hand...
Have I became the opposite as before?
What day is it...and in what month?
When my clock stopped...
Now...this clock never seemed so alive...
When reality hits me...
and I don't know why...I can't keep my eyes off of you...

Grace...

2010-10-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

Argh~! Nothing coming outta my mind...
Words don't form...
Sentences don't come together...
Not to mention a whole bunch gibberish is also hard to pump out now...

Well...at least SOME came out...
Why do I run out of inspiration sometimes?
There are a few reasons...
First, I'm very dumb...I need a lot of time to torture myself before I can form out something...
Second, I'm very blessed...Bad things turn away when they saw me...That's why there's no news going around...
On a second thought...actually no...Bad things happen alright...Interest things isn't happening everyday...and I'm not a blogger who writes his everyday life...I write digested things from everyday life...Half digested sometimes...
Third, I'm a lazy guy...My pea brain isn't just dumb...it's also too lazy to think sometimes...
Well...
I've just spent a 5 useless minutes to exlain why I can't write things...and I looked back at what I wrote...That's a whole lot more words than I thought...O.o

Just received news:
S1acY first volleyball match is against our old friend/rival...S1sT...
This should be interesting.... XD
God bless~!

On our way....

2010-10-19T22:51:00.002+08:00

No words from the heart recently...
Everything was just plain silence...
I like to keep it that way actually...
It gives me room to think...It gives me space to ponder...

Wondering around in your own mind for too long can be bad sometimes...
You start to become unrealistic...
Your dreams starts to intertwine with your life...
and when that happens...things can get a bit messy...
Although you have a smiling face put on all times...
Doesn't mean your inner self is the same as your costume...
When reality rip through your cover...
and left you bare...
It will be too late for you to pick up the pieces...
and even try to paste it back together...

Imagination...
Just enough of it...and you'll be considered a creative person...
Too much of it...then say hello to the asylum...

Sometimes...
It's good to be more realistic...

Nocturne with no moon

2010-10-07T20:47:00.002+08:00

Just when you think everything's fine...
Your whole world collapses...and you found out that you're living a dream...
Painfully...opened your eyes...
Violently...reality hits you...
Your heart drops and breaks...
When you've found out that you're no match for anything...
When you've discover that you're too weak for everything...

Unwillingly, you woke up from your dream...
and saw what you've missed when you're gone...
So badly you wanted...
to go back to sleep...
to slip back your dream...

But no...life doesn't work like this...
Everyday you wake up from your sleep...
Thinking back what you've just gone through...
Only to know that it was all just a dream...

But hey...life isn't that bad...
Everyday you wake up from your sleep...
Thinking back what you've just gone through...
It's up to you to choose to live the dream...or let it sleep in your mind...

You will not sleep through anymore dreams...
cause you know there are times of nightmare...
You will not close your eyes anymore...
cause you know there aren't any replays...

Live out your dreams...and not sleep through them...

All to You...

2010-09-25T00:53:00.001+08:00

All to You...
I give it all to You...

I try...

2010-09-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

I am not a child now, I can take care of myself....

I musn't let them down now, musn't let them see me cry....

I'm fine....I'm fine....

I try, but it's so hard to believe...

I try, but I can't see what you see...

I try...

My whole world is changing, I don't know where to turn.

I can't leave you waiting, but I can't stay and watch the city burn;

I try and try to understand the distance in between...

The love I feel,

The things I fear,

In every single dream...

Steps...

2010-09-14T01:23:00.002+08:00

Found alot of me old friends from primary school! =)
Don't know why, but it felt kinda weird seeing all my friends this old already...I still think they are the kid in primary uniform...
Now...
Everyone has walk back from seperate road...coming back together to share what they have seen, heard, touched, felt, experienced...
It's nice finding all of them...I like the old days...

How Great Is Our God

2010-09-12T01:30:00.002+08:00

See the mountains, feel the breeze...
Watch the sun rise, count the stars...

Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of Him from the creation from the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; So that they are without excuse.

There's no excuse to deny the greatness of our Almighty Lord when we enjoy His creation.

Up a mountain, He brought me...to witness His wonders once more...I'm a weak and wicked servant...I am...but it is His unending love that pulled me back on my legs...
I've learnt...I've gained...I've enjoyed...His grace and mercy...
Through His servant...Through people around me...Through little things that happened...Through His creation...Through Him...

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost, but now am found...
Was blind but now I see...

Twas grace that thought my heart to fear...
and grace my fears relieved...
How precious did that grace appear...
the hour I first believe...

My chains are gone I've been set free...
My God my saviour has ransomed me...
and like a flood His mercy rains...
Unending love, amazing grace...

Back from Fraser Hill...pictures on fb now =)

Don't Look Back...

2010-09-05T16:58:00.002+08:00

Looking at this blog that is almost dead is like looking at a mirror...
It's disastrous...the view of my thoughts...It's chaotic...
The sleepless nights left me...I've gotten too obsessed in lingering in my dreams...When I can run away from reality... When I can see my dream life...

Yes...it is a fact that I'm escaping from reality...for it hurts too much to see so many sorrows and pain all around me...right beside me...deep inside me...

Looking at the mirror...Reading the past...I looked back...and I regret doing that...
Choices that shouldn't be made...
Chances that should be grabbed...
Efforts that shouldn't be put...
Energy that should be used...

However, I'm grateful that I ended up at where I started...it's just that I have walked in a big circle...big meaningless circle...

Won't be around for 4 days...
Be going up a hill to quiet things down...

2010-08-20T00:20:00.004+08:00

Sunrise, Sunset,

No more regret.

Day pass, Night flies,

Choices, I've made...
*******

It's time to change the direction...

And head back to where I've started...

Step by step pulling me back...

Strength by strength turning me around...

I will not be distracted...

I will not be affected...

I will not be misguided...

I will not be offended...

I will not be defeated...

I will not be dependant...

I will be who I am and who I should be...

I should be who I am and who I will be...

Half a year wasted...

Half a year gone...

Half a year left-ed...

Half a year more...

People who wanted me to hate you...I'm sorry to tell you that you didn't succeed...Instead you have given me a big lesson...to never waste my time hating you anymore...

But still...

Please show some respect as friends...

As how I show mine to you...

Smile, what's the use of crying...

Smile, even though is tiring...

You'll know that life is still worthwhile...

If you just smile...

No...

2010-08-07T22:57:00.002+08:00

A forced smile...
A fake laugh...
No...
I'm not okay...

If there were no words,
No way to speak.
I would still hear you..

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you...

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
I'll be standing here
Until the end of time...

Let no moment be a waste...
Let no colours turn to grey...

No...
I'm not fragile...
I'm just sad...

Wishes for myself =)

2010-08-06T22:21:00.002+08:00

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky...You'll get by...
If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through...for you...

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile...
What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile...
=)

1st day of 16 years old...
Smile =)

16 years old...

2010-08-06T00:14:00.002+08:00

It's time to add another number to me age...
Another year older...
More weights to put on...
And I hope more faith I will have
=)

Crossed into this age in a special way...
This is what I call..."Grow Up You Dumb"...

Getting older~!

2010-08-05T20:50:00.003+08:00

Countdown anyone???
XD

Yea...I'm noob...so?

2010-08-03T21:29:00.002+08:00

No...
Faith is losing...
No...
Heart is sinking...
No...
Hand is trembling...
No...
Tears are dropping...

The rainbow is behind the storm...
But when will this storm end?

The sound have scattered...

2010-08-02T23:10:00.002+08:00

One Band...
One Sound...
Where is it now...?